REAL Relationship

Real Relationship Intention

A conscious relationship is what we all aspire to as it can be one of the most beautiful connections with two individuals that brings love, connection and companionship at such a deep understanding. We as a society have never been taught how to be in relationship except role model from our parental upbringing which could have been dysfunctional or 30 years out of date.

When we first meet someone there are many factors that bring us to an attraction to each other which I’ll explain those specific dynamics through this brochure outlining the imprinting and the left-over residual from our childhood.

Create the Ultimate Connection

Real Connection Real Love & Passion

Real Intimacy is allowing your chosen one to journey with you to the depthsof your soul.

What We Don’t Want

We fal into disharmony, what we don’t want in a relationship, what we do want in a relationship and the conflicts begin and without training and understanding years go by and we find ourselves in unhappiness, unfulfiled agony, pain and suffering and then both parties start to deteriorate and destroy each other trying to reason and escape each other’s behaviours.

Our hearts become scarred in this soul-destroying act and we become devastated in this transaction then, we learn to hate each other with anger to separate and use a lawyer to arbitrate our separation because we are incapable of doing so ourselves and the tragedy of this situation is we’ve impacted our children by our toxic relationship that sets them up for their own complicated relationship.

When We First Meet

When we first meet someone there are many factors that bring us to an attraction to each other which I’ll explain those specific dynamics through this brochure outlining the imprinting and the left-over residual from our childhood.

When we first meet there’s an unconscious primal attraction that you’re the one but we are generally blinded from our upbringing. We become infatuated and we have this primal urge to be with this person overwhelmed with dopamine, oxytocin and an urge to pro-create which comes from our reptilian mind and this is what blinds us to the truth of our partner.

This is what we call blind love, fantasy love which has a timeframe of 6 to 18 months and then the neo-cortex of the mind which has reasoning starts to evaluate and the complications begin.

REAL Fullfilment

What Real Relationships has is the secret formula to having a loving, beautiful, conscious relating relationship that brings joy and happiness to our everyday-ness, existing with your chosen one. I recommend you read this brochure as it will give you incredible insights.

How We Meet

1. We have many varied ways on how we meet but the strongest way that we meet is through trauma bonding which is buried in our amygdala part of the brain from a series of traumatic experiences linked to your childhood and upbringing.

2. The other way we meet is through the imprinting of our parents that has formed the picture and the style of partner you want in your relationship to which you have no control over until you un-become it.

3. The other way that we meet is opposites attract. For e.g., one is quiet and one is loud and by this binary-dynamic you both feel balanced at an unconscious dysfunctional level.

4. The other way that we meet is through the repetitive conditioning in your family that reminds you that this feels familiar. This too is buried in your subconscious and it is like having an accent yet still speaking English. We are not aware of our own accent as it’s very difficult to hear our own voice unless we record it and listen to it.

5. Another way of meeting is through separation syndrome where you’ve slingshot through one relationship devasted and wounded to another relationship devastated and wounded and trying to heal our wounds in our current relationship from the previous partner. Unless you’ve done an uncoupling process this cycle will continue.

Woman Brain and Man Brain

You’ll understand how a woman brain processes and functions through her emotions, feelings and her nervous system which is connected to everything everywhere all the time and, we will understand how a man’s brain functions in all his emotions, feelings and nervous system and how they’re located in compartments right next to each other.

This is fundamental to understand because we expect each other to think and feel the same yet, we are vastly different based on our gender.

There are 8 relationship values that need to be introduced into every relationship as a way of being or it will never be able to find reason, resolution, growth or expansion.

Silent Treatment

It surprises me the games people play using the dangerous silent treatment as a form of punishment to the other party. Nothing comes good from the silent treatment as it doesn’t allow the communication or understanding, healing or change and holds the relationship in a cryptic gridlock pattern of pain and suffering.

You will learn the power of ownership and own your behaviours that generally gets triggered by the other person that doesn’t reach your expectation that they should be doing this or they should be doing that. So many times, our expectations are not revealed but we assume.

You will be facing your own reflection and seeing your own behaviours that are not you but from your childhood and have an opportunity to heal those.

Devotion

There is a growth that everybody needs to go through to understand the truth of what devotion is. Devotion means you give all of yourself, 100% and there’s nothing left over however, many times we only give 80% of ourselves for an emergency escape.

The journey of a relationship means you have a great relationship within yourself first. If you have your own history of complications, you will bring this into the relationship and expect your partner to compensate your inappropriate behaviours that creates the disharmony.

We will be unpacking and pulling this apart.

The leading question I ask is: “Would you marry all of yourself?” and “Would you be in relationship with all of yourself?”

The parts of you that you dislike will always land on your partner.

Attachment Bonds

This is the most important understanding of a relationship and the milestone of Real Relationships.

In every relationship we have 4 attachment bonds that are highly dysfunctional that you have learned from your childhood that we place on our partners that have no idea that this is your subconscious hidden agenda of devastation and, they too have placed their own attachment bonds on you with their own unique behaviours from their childhood.

We generally argue, debate, fight over a total of 8 reoccurring issues in a relationship dynamic. You will heal and release these constraints of suppression and behaviours that you project onto your partner and you’ll find the disharmony disappears and you and your chosen one are in harmony again seeing each other for the purity of who you both are.

Intimacy

Theres a beautiful journey that we take both parties down the path of vulnerability into intimacy where you learn to share your inner world safely and with trust so you can be heard, seen and witnessed and most of all understood.

You must learn the true art of intimacy as it is the gateway to deep connection and through connection we find deep love.

It’s the ultimate portal to each other’s hearts and feelings.

Transparency

Transparency is the fluid between two people sharing each other’s experiences, feelings, ideas, dreams, situations and circumstances. It is an open portal of honesty within each other’s realities where you form the most incredible trust of open, truthful communication and you get to understand each other’s thoughts, feelings, desires and intentions where it’s held in a safe container of this union together. You are my go-to person for free-expression of the truth and I am your go-to person for your free-expression of your truth. This is truly an amazing part of having a conscious relating relationship where you learn to embrace each other’s difference.

We must be able to full bloom like two beautiful big roses opening right up for each other to see inside each other’s beautiful petals.

You never want to be a closed bud in a relationship as that is the ultimate suffocation of a relationship.

Codependency

In our trauma bond we have attachments and co-dependency’s.

What that means is I can’t exist or survive without you and we continue to exist all tied up pulling each other’s strings and disliking each other for it. For e.g. if you can’t love yourself, you will expect your partner to love you where you can’t and you’ll always blame them that their love is not enough. They can never fill this void until you break your own codependent strings and love yourself the most.

I have facilitated Real Teens around Australia for 11 years and the number 1 complaint a teenager would say my mother and father love me more than they love themselves or they fulfill their lost childhood through me as a teenager. What they lost as a child they want to win it through the teenager.

This is the co-dependency parents have with their children.

Disappointment Resentmemnt

In every relationship there’s an accumulation of disappointment and these unresolved disappointments will eventually turn into resentment. If you already have resentment in your nervous system emotionally, it will be easily triggered by another small dose of resentment and eventually it accumulates. If this is not dealt with it’s the same as having little micro-cuts on your heart and with all these little micro-cuts your heart will contract from the scarring and close off.

There is a beautiful way of clearing resentment as a way of being

We do this beautiful process called the deconstruct. It clears and heals the heart and you feel changed and once again you can be open-hearted to your chosen one. If this is not practiced, we will eventually shutdown and function as disconnected and emotionally absent from each other, always triggered, end up arguing and then it moves into arguing about how we argue. This is crucial to learn. Isolating and not healing it hoping it will go away. It never does.

This is the gateway to compatibility otherwise the relationship becomes a gridlock. Fixed, stuck, filled with resistance. There is no love, just existing, hoping things will get better.

Reset

Every relationship generally has 2 or 3 chapters in one year because the individuals are growing, changing, evolving and we must let go of the old ways to reset the relationship for a new beginning and this practice must be done 2 or 3 times a year. You can always feel the relationship dynamic reaching its plateau, reaching the end of its chapter and what we don’t do is reset it for a brand-new beginning, a brand-new chapter but with the same person. We need to grow and change at the same rate as our children. Whenever you say “I want the person I first met” to each other it means the relationship is redundant and you must reset and there is a secret formula for that.

There is no need for separation if you practice this model.

Masculinity and Femininity in Relationships

We bring the clear understanding of what masculinity and femininity is required in a primary relationship and how important the male must embrace his masculinity to provide stability in the household and a safe space for the woman. As society has created a higher expectation for women to be more masculine and independent with the rate of separation. From leading, to being organised to creating stability. This will harden the woman and close her off to her femininity. Whereas there is something beautiful when a woman can be in her feminine, allow the fluidness, her flow of her graceful femininity into the relationship as the male longs for this connection.

Over the last 50 years we’ve had women raising boys and the mothers had no chance to only embrace more masculinity to have some kind of discipline in the house and by this she has unconsciously emasculated her son and he generally feels powerless to be a noble king in his household with his gracious queen. This must be balanced to free the woman to her authentic femininity.

Forgiveness

As a practice there is an art in a ceremonious forgiveness to forgive each other in a way that has felt right to its core and we have learnt the significant lessons to never repeat the same pattern ever again. Today we use forgiveness as a throw away word then over time it becomes worthless and has no meaning. This is a waste of the word forgiveness.

You’ll experience a deep ceremony that holds us accountable to our responsibilities as two individuals entering the union on conscious relating.

Polarity

Once we get past the initial 2 or 3 years of being together which is generally a primal urge called fantasy love where you fuck all the time and it’s a biological urge to procreate at an unconscious level. This can last for 3-24 months. The relationship takes a turn and this is where we need to have the mastery of polarity. We need to know how to polarise each other as a daily practice and we must understand the art of polarity. Polarity pulls you closer to your partner. You feel the pull. It’s an insatiable attraction towards each other, it’s a wanting, a desiring.

If you don’t learn these techniques, you’ll turn into a companion treating each other like brother’s and sister’s and that is the death of a relationship. Polarity comes first before seduction and is one of the fundamental keys of staying drawn to each other. Conscious Sex is meant to get better and better after 2 years and just keeps getting better.

How We Love

We do a self-discovery on how you want to be loved by your partner and through this process you’ll discover their way of being loved rather than what you think or how you feel they want to be loved. It’s a very deep unravelling process to understand the full expression on how you so want to be loved by your partner and by this you will have the exact model on how you want to be loved and by this understanding you’ll feel very met, very loved, very seen, very witnessed and held in the container of love that you desire from your partner. So many times, we can grow up in a family and not feel loved by our parents because our parents did not understand how we wanted to be loved. They guessed it and imagined if I was loved this is how I would do it.

I remember as a father asking my child how they want to be loved and it was completely different to what I thought and this is something we must understand moving forward in any loving relationship.

Seduction

You will go through many processes of how to be the ultimate Aphrodite seductress and Eros seducer. There are so many forms of this practice that we were never taught and you will learn so many techniques that’s crucial of the relationship. Being in a seductive state doesn’t mean sex, but in a relationship, we need to be always seducing as a way of being. There are so many ways we need to learn how to implement that are enticing, activating and desirable. Aphrodite is hunting and so is Eros hunting and both do it very differently.

Romance

We as individuals have our own unique way of being romanced and we must understand how our chosen one loves to be romanced. You’ll go through an unravelling and an understanding of each other’s secret formula on how you like to be romanced as it is the gateway to having sexual connection.

Sexual Connection

We will discuss the varieties of sexual connection that is required in a primary relationship to exist. One of the tragedies in sexual connection is that it becomes a routine, a function that becomes boring and unfulfilling and just a quick satisfaction with each other. I call this narcissistic sex.

Sex is meant to be transformational, mind-blowing, pleasurable, exciting and what I will share with you are some of the secrets of tantra. If you embrace this incredible practice, it’s impossible to have boring sex that is routine. You’ll be enriched with the erotic charge of ecstasy, connection, ceremony and the beauty of consciously relating in the sexual field of this erotic energy.

It will give you the deepest intimate connection, the greatest pleasure state of enjoyment and for a long time we have never been taught the art of sex that brings desires and fulfilment, that evolves us and transforms us. That excites both parties with this beautiful journey. We’ve been placed in these situations without the true education of it and we may have learnt from the low-intelligence, the low vibration of embellished pornography that doesn’t realise the truth of something so beautiful.

This is a priceless gift that every relationship needs. It’s impossible to exist in today’s world without fulfilling, static, erotic love-making sex.

Love Codes

You’ll learn that there are 12 love codes and will place them in priority that is most important to you and your partner will do the same and by this you’ll get to witness and compare how you’ve been missing each other in the relationship.

The second stage will be working through to have the top 6 love codes similar to each other in priority that are crucial for the relationship to be met.

This is a fundamental flaw in most primary relationships and you’ll gain alignment on what is most important to you and how to meet your partner with their love code. This truly is an amazing process and practice that is consciously relating with each other.

My deepest recommendation is to please embrace this journey of Real Relationships as we were taught how to drive a car, learn to read and write but we were never taught how to have a primary relationship. These are fundamental life-skills that are necessary.